The wonderful world of bureaucracy

There appears to be no such thing as the phrase "She'll be right" in this land mass, especially when applying for a working with children's card. I take the form fill it out and bring it back with every piece of ID I possess. The first time they go through and re-write half of my words for me, then they send me away for proof of address (something it does not say I need in the book of instructions.) I come back with what they bank tells me is proof of address, but this piece of paper requires a stamp. Back to the bank, apparently it is against policy to stamp the statements. I explain exactly why I need it stamped and that if they cannot do this there must be something else they can do, at this point someone finally breaks policy (if only to get me out of the bank where I have been demanding help for the past half hour). I go back to the post office with what I think is everything I need. This time I am told that my proof of address and my eftpos card have to be from different Australian banks. The man then asks me why I can't just supply my visa (the visa I don't have because Kiwi's don't need them here). I go home to ring the helpline where I discover there has been a recent change in policy, I can now take a letter from the bank and eftpos card from the same bank in. Back to the post office, everything is finally going well until they discover my letter from the bank is not an acceptable proof of address. This time to the bank, where I learn there are many policies relating to getting hold of statement. I still don't have a working with children's card, I have one more trip to the bank and post office at least left. I don't understand what difference it makes where I live, if I put down the wrong address then they post to the wrong address. It has my name and photo on it, no one else can use the thing. The worst part about it all is that I am paying a ridiculous amount for a service which has already taken 4 hours of my time, plus until I have it I can't work.